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I’m schizoaffective bipolar type and I like to cry.
“Woah there buddy, I just started reading your article. Don’t you think that is a bit of an overshare” you say. Okay, maybe you didn’t say that to yourself. You may in fact think I’m being presumptuous. Yet, what did you think when reading that first sentence?
We could both sit here all day trying to find out what exactly you thought. But, in either case my presumption that the statement may seem a bit too much is, at the least, not invalid. You and I both know that admitting to like to cry seems a bit… odd.
Although I am mentally ill so maybe you think that is completely normal and or okay. So let me explain a little further. Being schizoaffective bipolar type I may possibly be more vulnerable to states of depression than others. At least in theory.
Many of the states of depression I’ve been in I feel pretty much nothing during that time. Because I’m schizoaffective though I deal with symptoms of schizophrenia as well as the symptoms of bipolar disorder (manic highs and depressive lows). So I can suffer from a “flat affect” where I am not showing much emotion. Which is why I assume I am not able to cry at times that I may really want to. And sometimes… I really really want to.
Luckily I have a quick fix to solve this problem in some manner of speaking. You see, there is one thing that can still get me to cry pretty easily. Films and television shows.
Something about the combination of art forms combining and contrasting with one another is far more likely to bring me to tears than anything else. A reaction can come from the beautiful or sad music playing. The images on screen. The story being told. Or, in many cases, a combination of these and other factors that come to play from the visual mediums of television and film.
For a really quick fix though. I watch things like this:
The video is a combination of so many things I enjoy. First of all, as any human being should, I love Pixar movies. Second, I like to feel strong emotions (as you may be able to tell). Third, I like to laugh at others who cry easily. Fourth, and last, I love a good reaction video.
I challenge you to watch the video and not cry at one of the Pixar moments or be able to keep yourself from snickering at the couple’s tears. Which is the great part about it. You can’t help but have a strong emotional reaction to the moments from Pixar lore shown in this video.
Yet, seeing how this couple feels their emotions, feels them strongly, and in some ways feels ashamed of their emotions (sort of) and don’t want to feel that way is, somewhat counterintuitively, funny. Heck, the funniest part about the video is when the husband becomes emotional as well. All those tears from one person who had in fact made the decision to show these clips from Pixar movies to another in an attempt to get them to cry.
Now, maybe you don’t feel the way I do. In fact I assume some of you are still thinking “why would you want to cry?” I think I have reasonably explained why I myself would like to cry. But, furthermore, I know for a fact that getting emotional, crying, is in fact good for us as humans.
You see, research has found that in addition to being self-soothing, shedding emotional tears releases oxytocin and endorphins. These chemicals make people feel good and may also ease both physical and emotional pain. In this way, crying can help reduce pain and promote a sense of well-being.
So why hold back? Why is it that we feel this sense of shame at being vulnerable in the moments when we want to shed tears? Is it that simple? We simply don’t want to feel vulnerable.
I have found that to be true from watching as many reaction videos as I do. You see I love watching people watch the films and television I have watched. I love seeing the wtf looks on their faces when a plot revelation is shown on screen. I love seeing the amount of excitement on peoples faces as they watch a great action sequence, tense moment, or hear a great bit of dialogue from a character.
If you couldn’t tell by now what I love to see most is tears.
My assumption is that everybody likes to see this if they watch reaction videos. Not that we want to see people feel painful emotions, but… we actually do want to see people feel the same painful emotions we felt when we watched that same moment of a film or television series. Which makes me kind of annoyed when I see a reactor try to hide their emotions.
Whether I should have this opinion or not I tend to look at the situation people get themselves into by reaction to visual media is something they should have known they were getting into. Reacting to films and television for the people of the world to see is exactly the type of situation where the audience in fact wants you to be vulnerable. You are showing us what your personal reaction to something is.
Which goes to show that people don’t want to be vulnerable. Which makes complete sense. Vulnerability by definition is to be capable of being physically or emotionally wounded. Yet being vulnerable, to those not in the situation of being vulnerable, tends to show how much strength you have.
Which is why a video like the one embedded here in this blog post is so great. We all know how great Pixar is. Furthermore we know how great they are at getting us to feel strong emotions. Whether those emotions are happy, sad, etc.
A video like this can show you how great it is to let it out. Even more so to let people see that you are feeling what you are feeling. Think, if you have seen a film like Avengers: Endgame in theaters, how amazing it was to react to what was going on in that film with a group of people most of which you did not know.
Let’s just admit it. Wouldn’t it be great if we could all feel the way we feel and not feel we’re weak for doing so?
“[He] doesn’t even go [to this school].”
Sorry “I just have a lot of feelings.”
But so what?
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